Learning to Breathe Read online

  “Darcie, you’re going to be okay. I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise …”

  I woke with a start.

  Chapter Two

  It was early, really early but there was no way that I could fall asleep again – not with the memory of the nightmare still imprinted in my brain. I took a few steadying breaths and prayed that my mother hadn’t woken up yet. I lay listening but I failed to hear any movement from my mother’s bedroom – I was safe for now.

  I sat up and glanced at my alarm clock – 5.49am. I groaned to myself but got out of bed regardless. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do before my mother woke up but I needed to do something. I quickly showered and changed before heading downstairs to get some breakfast. I rummaged in the fridge and found that we didn’t have any milk.

  Sighing, I lifted my mother’s car keys and left her note saying that I had popped out to the shop. However, I was half way down the road when it dawned on me that there wouldn’t be any shops open just yet. I didn’t want to turn and go back home so I continued to drive, wondering where I should go.

  I continued on out of the town until I noticed a sign indicating the direction of the famous ‘spring’ that gave the town it’s name. I had to admit, I was curious so I turned down the road and fifteen minutes later, I had arrived at my destination.

  It was actually quite beautiful. I got out of the car and followed the sound of the rushing water. There was a lot of greenery about the area but I managed to find a path that led down near the water itself. It was extremely peaceful just listening to the gentle noise of the water hitting the rocks.

  I didn’t venture too close to the edge but it was still spectacular to look at. Apart from some birds chirping, it was completely silent. I allowed myself to relax, grateful that I was distracted and couldn’t think about the nightmare. I took a few deep breaths and closed my eyes, revelling in the peacefulness of my current situation.

  However, my moment of serenity didn’t last long. I glanced at my watch and was shocked to find that the dial said it was now 6.43am. I took one last look around me and headed back to the car. I made my way back into town and found an open newsagent’s. I bought milk and a newspaper for my mother to read and made my way back to the house.

  I found my mother standing in the kitchen, spooning some coffee into a mug. She turned to face me as I stood in the doorway.

  “Morning, you’re up early!”

  I shrugged. “Yeah, I wasn’t really that tired.”

  I noticed her furrow her brow at me but she merely said “Hmm” and turned her attention back to the kettle, which had now boiled.

  I was relieved when she didn’t question me further – it was way too early for me to have to pretend that everything was just fine and dandy. I poured the milk over my cereal and ate my breakfast in silence. When I had finished, I glanced over at my mother – she was reading the paper quite intently.

  “Do you need any help to unpack today?” I asked, already knowing what the answer would be.

  She shook her head at me. “No, you can do whatever you want honey. Go have some fun.”

  I nodded to her and left the room. Once I was out the front door, I debated about where to go. I really didn’t want to go shopping but I figured that I could go into town anyway and maybe check out the library. My decision made, I made my way over to my mother’s car again.

  However, before I even got the chance to unlock it, a girl around my own age approached me.

  “Hey, you guys have just moved in, right? I’m Harriet, welcome to the neighbourhood.”

  I took a good look at her – she was very tall and skinny with long blonde hair and bright blue eyes but she also had a friendly smile. I was still unsure about making friends here but Harriet didn’t seem too horrible so I decided to take a chance.

  “Hey, yeah my mum and I just moved in yesterday – I’m Darcie.”

  She beamed at me. “Nice to meet you. Listen, I know you probably have to unpack and all but a whole bunch of us are heading over to the spring later. Do you wanna come?”

  I stared at her for a moment, wondering if someone could possibly be this nice to a complete stranger. I shrugged off my negative thoughts and smiled at her.

  “Actually, I don’t have to unpack – my mother’s insisting on doing the rest – but yeah, I’d love to come.”

  “Great, have you got a suit?” She looked at me expectantly.

  Fear gripped me but I managed to swallow the panic that was threatening to choke me.

  “No, I – I’m not – I don’t think – I mean, I probably won’t go in … so I don’t need one.” I managed to sputter out eventually.

  Harriet threw me a curious look but accepted my answer regardless. “That’s okay – some of the other girls don’t like going in either. We’re thinking of bringing a picnic down since the guys want to go just before lunch. Does twelve-thirty suit you?”

  I nodded. “Yeah, do you need me to bring anything?”

  Harriet shook her head. “Just yourself. So, I guess I’ll see you later then. I’ll pick you up at twelve and then drive us both over.”

  “Yeah, okay … thanks. I guess I’ll see you then.”

  She threw me another warm smile before she headed off inside the house to the left of me.

  I spent most of the morning in a café in town, leisurely reading my book and people-watching. Pretty soon, it was half-eleven so I drained my cappuccino and headed back home to get ready to meet Harriet.

  Once home, I quickly explained to my mother my plans for lunch. She looked pleasantly surprised but didn’t ask any questions.

  “Okay honey, have fun” was all she said while I ran upstairs and got changed into long denim shorts, a strappy vest top and my sneakers. I grabbed a towel as an afterthought – I figured that I would probably need something to sit on. I ran downstairs, put some packets of crisps and fruit into a bag, and headed out the door.

  Harriet was waiting for me in her car – a little VW Bug – and smiled at me when I got into the passenger side.

  “Hey, you look great. There should be a good crowd here so you’ll get to meet a lot of people. I hope you don’t mind?” She glanced at me unsurely.

  I shook my head. “No, it’ll be good for me to get to know some people before school starts in September.”

  She grinned. “Well, after you meet this lot, you might not want to know them!”

  She chuckled and I smiled at her but I couldn’t help ponder about what I had let myself in for.

  We arrived at the spring and discovered that we weren’t the only ones who were early. I took a deep breath, got out of the car, and followed Harriet as she made her way over to a group of guys who were standing by a fancy Honda Civic.

  “Hey guys!” Harriet waved at them as she approached. “This is Darcie, she just moved next door.”

  The guys all gave me a lazy, half wave which I returned while I muttered “hey” at them all.

  Harriet sighed. “Guys, the least you could do is introduce yourselves!”

  They all chuckled and a particularly good-looking guy piped up. “Yeah, well why bother … we know you’ll do it for us!”

  Harriet laughed. “True, okay Darcie, that’s James, Elijah and my boyfriend, Samuel.” She pointed each of them out in turn and I nodded obediently.

  Harriet smiled and then turned her attention back to the boys. “So, are you guys going down to the water or what?”

  Samuel nodded. “Yeah, we were just waiting for some of you chicks to turn up – no point in showing off our fancy diving moves if nobody’s there to appreciate them.” He winked at me and I couldn’t help but laugh out loud.

  Harriet rolled her eyes. “You and your ego Samuel! Well, come on then … let’s see if you can compete with your girlfriend.”

  A short while later and more people had arrived. Harriet introduced me to them all but I knew I wouldn’t be able to remember all of their names. I happily watched them all splash about and race each oth
er, trying out various strokes. However, I was constantly dreading someone asking me why I wasn’t joining in … I really hoped that I could avoid explaining my reason – it was a rather lengthy story.

  I was just starting to relax when another group of guys arrived – I was horrified when I found there was one face that I already knew. Harriet quickly bounded over to me so that she could introduce me. However, when she came to Danny, he interrupted her.

  “It’s okay Harri … Darcie and I go way back.” He winked at me and I tried not to roll my eyes at his arrogance.

  Harriet threw me a curious look but never said anything – she just walked off to compete with Samuel who was insisting on doing a butterfly stroke race.

  The group of guys quickly dispersed until it was just Danny remaining. I sighed heavily and began to walk off when he started to follow me.

  “So Darcie, I think my phone’s broken …” He trailed off, obviously waiting for me to respond.

  I decided to humour him. “Is that so?”

  He nodded. “Yeah, you see I didn’t get any calls from you.”

  I tried my best to look puzzled. “Call you? Why would I call you? I don’t remember you telling me to. From what I can remember, we barely spoke to each other.” I bit back a smirk when he looked confused.

  “Didn’t you look at the receipt?”

  I shook my head. “No, why?” It took all of my strength not to burst out laughing at his baffled expression.

  He looked at me intently and then smirked. “You’re just screwing with me, aren’t you?”

  I nodded. “You deserve it – using a line like that. Please tell me no girl has actually fallen for that.”

  I watched as his nose crinkled up when he laughed. “You’d be surprised!” He then threw me that cocky lopsided grin and winked again.

  I rolled my eyes. “Well then, I’m disappointed in my fellow females.”

  He chuckled but then his face turned serious. “Didn’t you even consider calling?”

  “Please!” I scoffed, “I threw it in the bin as soon as I noticed it.”

  His disappointment was obvious by his frown. “Ouch, not even a second glance then?”

  I felt a little guilty about making him feel bad so I smirked at him. “Well maybe I did stare at it for about ten minutes.”

  The cocky grin was back. “I knew it! So, now that’s out of the way, what’s your story? Why’d you move here?”

  We sat down on the towel I had brought and I wondered what I would tell Danny. I really didn’t want to dredge up everything about my past but I guessed that it wouldn’t hurt to tell him the short version. I sighed and glanced at those mesmerising hazel eyes before I told him all about my mother getting a new job.

  Throughout our conversation, I noticed that he looked genuinely interested in what I was saying. I didn’t read too much into it though – the last thing I needed was someone prying into my private life.

  We happily sat in silence for a while, watching everyone joke around and mess about in the water. Then Harriet got out and declared that she was hungry which resulted in a fight to get to the sandwiches.

  Once everyone had eaten, Danny was dragged into competing in the races. I happily sat watching again, glad that nobody approached me – it didn’t last long. I was too busy watching Harriet that I didn’t notice James running at me. By the time I realised what he was doing, it was too late.

  He hoisted me over his shoulder and ran to the water’s edge. I tried to protest but he ignored me – probably thinking that I was just playing along. I was terrified and I could already feel my lungs tightening. The next thing I knew, he had thrown me in.

  My lungs felt like they were on fire. I could taste the salty water but there was nothing I could do to stop it from rushing into my lungs. I was choking while I screamed out for help and I could feel myself slipping in and out of consciousness. Suddenly, I could feel strong arms around me and hear someone comforting me.

  “Darcie, you’re going to be okay. I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise …”

  I don’t exactly remember what happened after that but I vaguely recall that I started screaming and then someone pulled me out. Once I was out of the water, it took around ten minutes before I could make sense of anything. I could hear Danny telling everyone to back off and that I was fine.

  I managed to open my eyes and found Danny looking down at me. I could also see Harriet staring at me with a worried look on her face. I tried to sit up but Danny pushed me back down and looked over at Harriet.

  “Harri, she’s fine. She just needs some space, okay?”

  He was speaking in quite an authoritative tone and I noticed how Harriet nodded obediently and walked off.

  Danny looked at me again. “Sorry but I figured you wouldn’t want an audience.”

  I tried to sit up again and this time Danny let me. I felt quite cold now since I was soaked to the skin. I shivered and then felt Danny placing something over my shoulders – my towel. I huddled beneath it, determined not to look at Danny or even talk to him but I knew I needed to thank him. I sighed and was about to speak but he beat me to it.

  “So, I take it you’re not a big fan of swimming.”

  I shook my head and he nodded.

  “That’s understandable … but most people don’t react like you. You sure you’re okay?” His hazel eyes looked at me in concern.

  I nodded. “I’m fine … just embarrassed. Thanks for pulling me out though.”

  Danny nodded. “No problem, James feels really bad about the whole thing … he thought you were just playing along until I realised something was wrong.”

  “It’s okay. It’s just that I can’t swim and I panicked - it’s a bit silly really.” I glanced away from him, hoping my face didn’t give me away.

  “Darcie look, I’ve spent the past three summers training as a lifeguard in the local pool, I think I’d know how non-swimmers react the first time they get into the water but you … you were hysterical.”

  I glanced at him sharply. “Just what are you insinuating exactly?”

  He sighed heavily. “You tell me.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him. “I just can’t swim – it’s no big deal.”

  Danny raised an eyebrow sceptically. “Darcie, you know as well as I do that you can learn to swim at anytime. I think there’s more to it than that.”

  “Oh really, is that so? You’ve known me all of but a few hours and already you think you know all about me?” I fired back at him.

  He shrugged. “Well if it’s really just about that you can’t swim, why don’t you go and learn? Hell, I’d teach you myself!”

  I threw him a dark look. “I have no intention of ever learning to swim.”

  “But why?” he enquired, a frustrated look on his face.

  “I don’t believe that’s any of your business so just drop it.” I snapped at him, I was starting to feel very angry.

  “Darcie come on, everyone’s gotta face their fears sometime.” He studied my face intently.

  I stood up, narrowed my eyes at him, and adopted a threatening tone.

  “Drop it.” I repeated and then I stormed off.

  Chapter Three

  Harriet drove us home about five minutes after my altercation with Danny. She never mentioned my reaction at being thrown into the water nor did she ask what had happened with Danny and for that, I was grateful.

  After I mumbled my thanks and got out of the car, I hurried inside and found my mother cooking dinner in the kitchen.

  “Oh honey, what happened? Why are you all wet?” She eyed me with concern.

  I shrugged. “Water fight – I lost.” I didn’t want to tell her what had really happened – it would just be an excuse for her to have yet another ‘how are you feeling’ conversation. I quickly escaped from the kitchen before she had the chance to question me further and went upstairs to clean up.

  Once I was safe in the sanctuary of my own room, I allowed myself to think back on wh
at had happened. I was mad at myself for having reacted the way I did but I knew it was inevitable – I still wasn’t over what had happened and I really didn’t know if I would ever fully recover.

  I quickly showered and changed into dry clothes before going downstairs again. My mother was now setting the table for dinner and I had to admit, something smelled good. My mother wasn’t exactly the best cook but the spaghetti she was dishing out looked delicious.

  “Looks good Mum.” I took a seat at the table and she smiled at me.

  “So, did you have a good time then?” I could tell she was dying to know if I had made any friends so I decided to humour her.

  “Yeah, Harriet seems really nice – she lives next door too which is handy. She introduced to me everyone else – not that I remember all of their names but they all seem friendly enough.”

  I didn’t know whether or not to mention Danny – no doubt my mother would read too much into things.

  “Oh honey, that’s great!” my mother enthused.

  I nodded but didn’t say anything else. I finished off eating my spaghetti and then quickly disappeared upstairs again – I desperately needed an early night.

  My lungs felt like they were on fire. I could taste the salty water but there was nothing I could do to stop it from rushing into my lungs. I was choking while I screamed out for help and I could feel myself slipping in and out of consciousness. Suddenly, I could feel strong arms around me and hear someone comforting me.

  “Darcie, you’re going to be okay. I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise …”

  I then suddenly turned to look at my saviour and found that it was not the usual face that haunted me every night … this time it was Danny.

  I abruptly woke up and I was mad at myself – not because I had yet another nightmare – but because Danny had now invaded my dreams. I glanced at the clock – 8.30am. I was surprised at this as I normally woke at an ungodly hour – this was the first time in about eight months that I remembered sleeping past 7am.