Learning to Breathe Read online

  Stifling a yawn, I got up and made my way downstairs to find a note from my mother:

  ‘Darcie,

  Away sorting out a few things – be back after lunch.

  Love Mum x’

  I sighed and then proceeded to make myself a mug of coffee – it looked like I had some time to kill. I ate my breakfast leisurely and then took extra care when deciding what to wear. I eventually settled on my dark skinny jeans, a grey checked shirt and my navy Converse.

  By ten o’clock, I had done all I needed to do and was contemplating my next action when the doorbell rang. I idly wondered who it could be as I made my way to the door. I found James waiting there, an anxious look on his face.

  “James? What’re you doing here?” I enquired, frowning at him.

  A look of relief washed over his face. “Darcie – thank God. I thought you’d be away with your mum. I just came over to apologise about yesterday. It was stupid and I shouldn’t have done it – I didn’t know you can’t swim. I’m really sorry, I really am.” He looked at me pleadingly and I smiled at him.

  “Don’t worry about it – you didn’t know. It’s quite silly really … it’s just that I’ve a little phobia of water.” I shrugged, deciding to play down how traumatised I actually was yesterday – the poor guy was beside himself.

  He looked immensely relieved. “Thanks but I’m genuinely sorry – I feel like an idiot!”

  I chuckled. “That makes both of us! Never worry, all is forgiven.”

  He grinned. “Thanks, I was beating myself up about it all last night.”

  “You shouldn’t have, I’m fine … really.” I smiled at him, hoping it was convincing.

  “Yeah, well I’m just glad you’re okay. Thank God Danny was paying attention to you when I wasn’t.” He visibly shuddered at the memory but then he smiled again.

  “Yeah, thank God for Danny.” I retorted, hoping he wouldn’t catch the sarcastic edge to my tone.

  James grinned at me – obviously oblivious to my tone – and said, “Okay, well I gotta go but I’ll see you around.”

  I waved him off and then closed the door, regret washing over me. Again, I thought about what had happened yesterday and I couldn’t disguise the fact that I hadn’t been fair to Danny. I had never been comfortable with dredging up the past but that was no excuse for how I had acted. Danny had been trying to help so maybe he deserved a second chance.

  I ran upstairs and found the bag from the bookshop. Once I had extracted the receipt from the bag, I copied his number to my phone and sent him a message:

  ‘Darcie here - meet me @ café in town in 20.’

  I caught the bus into town and made my way to the café. I hadn’t received a reply from Danny yet but I hoped that he would decide to show up anyway. I grabbed an empty table, told the waitress that I was waiting for someone, and prayed that he would walk through the door at any moment.

  Two seconds later and I was incredibly relieved when I saw a familiar figure make his way towards me. I smiled at Danny as he sat down opposite me. He threw me a small smirk before he spoke.

  “So … you wanted to see me?”

  I nodded and sighed heavily. “I wanted to apologise – I shouldn’t have acted the way I did and I’m really sorry.”

  He shrugged. “I shouldn’t have pried.”

  I shook my head. “It still doesn’t make it okay that I was rude to you.”

  “True … but I’m willing to forgive you.” He smirked again and I had to laugh.

  “Okay, we’ll call a truce then, yeah?” I glanced at him and he nodded, a slight smile playing on his lips.

  “So,” he began, after several minutes of silence. “How much did it kill you having to text me?”

  I chuckled. “A lot. I was just glad I didn’t throw away the receipt – I didn’t fancy digging through bags of rubbish.”

  Danny threw me another half-smile. “So you didn’t throw it out after all? I knew it!”

  I rolled my eyes. “Your arrogance astounds me … could you be anymore conceited?”

  “Could you be anymore attracted to me?” He quipped back.

  I scoffed at him. “In your dreams! Do you really get girls like this?”

  He quirked an eyebrow and flashed me that adorable crooked grin. “Many. Why – you jealous?”

  “Hardly.” I shot back at him. “You’re not my type so don’t flatter yourself.”

  He shrugged. “One hour with me turning on the charm and you’d be singing a different tune … trust me on that.”

  I laughed. “You know there’s a fine line between being charming and being cocky … and you my friend, fall into the latter. And it’s not something to be proud of – it’s not an attractive quality.”

  Danny smirked yet again. “Ouch. You really know how to insult a guy. Are you always this pleasant?”

  “Are you always this obnoxious?” I retorted back.

  “Ooh touché. You know – if I didn’t know any better – I’d almost mistake your frostiness for flirting.” He flashed me another half-smile and threw me a knowing look.

  I rolled my eyes again. “Well you would, wouldn’t you Mr Overly-sure-of-himself?”

  I watched as his confidence seemed to go into overdrive. “Say what you will, but I know you’re secretly charmed by me.”

  I shrugged. “Whatever … just don’t be too disappointed when I don’t fall at your feet.”

  He looked at me with a twinkle in his eye. “Well, try not to be too surprised when you do.”

  I raised an eyebrow at him. “Don’t hold your breath.”

  I watched as he looked deep in thought for a moment and then the most peculiar look crossed his face as he asked, “So do you wanna go out sometime?”

  I baulked at that. “What?”

  “Do you wanna go out sometime – you know, like on a date?”

  Fear gripped me and my good mood was instantly shattered. Yes, it had been fun bantering with Danny but did I want to date him? No, no I didn’t. The last thing I needed was a relationship and someone asking questions about my past. No, I was going to have to put an end to this now.

  I glanced into those extraordinary hazel eyes – there was a twinkle in them that I was about to extinguish – I didn’t want to do it but I had to.

  I shook my head at him. “Look, I’m really sorry Danny but no. I don’t date … at all.”

  He looked taken aback. “What? Why?”

  I sighed. “It’s a really long story and I don’t want to go into it right now but I’m just not interested in you that way.”

  Danny gazed at me with a puzzled look on his face and then his expression suddenly changed – it was as if he had just figured something out. “Does this have anything to do with what happened yesterday?”

  I froze but quickly came to my senses. “No.” I told him firmly.

  He scrutinised my face. “Why don’t I believe you?”

  “Just drop it.” I ordered, my tone dripping in ice-cold venom.

  Danny frowned. “What is it? What are you so desperate to hide?”

  “Danny,” I warned. “Leave it be.”

  He shook his head determinedly.

  “No Darcie!” he protested stubbornly. “I wanna know why you suddenly change from flirty to cold at the least little thing.”

  Abruptly, I stood up and narrowed my eyes at him. “You don’t know me Danny … and trust me, you don’t want to.”

  And with that, I left him sitting in the café.

  Once I had returned home, I instantly felt remorse about the way I had treated Danny yet again. It wasn’t his fault that I was so mistrustful of people but it wasn’t fair to drag him down with me either. I sighed and tried to think about something else. Thankfully, my mother chose that precise moment to come home.

  “Hey honey, what did you get up to?” She smiled at me, a hopeful look on her face – I guessed that she was probably wishing that this would be my chance to open up to her … no such luck.

  “Not
much,” I replied. “Did you do everything you needed to then?”

  My mother sighed. “I was just sorting out a few things for when I start work. They want me to start next week.”

  I smiled. “That’s great. I’ll be fine on my own anyway.”

  “I know you will.” My mother smiled but I couldn’t help but notice that it was a little strained.

  “Is everything okay?” I enquired, wondering if she was about to drop some sort of bombshell.

  She shook her head. “It’s nothing but … I thought you might like to get a part-time job or something. It would get you out of the house while I’m at work. What do you think?”

  I nodded. “Yeah, sounds good. A bit of extra cash wouldn’t hurt either. I’ll start looking this weekend.”

  I noticed that my mother looked suddenly uncomfortable at that so I threw her a questioning look. “What? What is it?”

  She smiled slyly. “I kind of already set something up for you … I hope you don’t mind.”

  I sighed. “What is it?”

  “Helping out with activities at the Youth Club in the leisure centre.” she told me hesitantly.

  I eyed her warily. “What kind of activities?”

  She grinned, obviously satisfied that I wasn’t about to fly off the handle. “Just games and arts and crafts – that sort of thing.”

  I nodded. “Sounds fine – when do I start?”

  “Not until Monday. They want you from nine to three, Mondays and Thursdays. Is that okay?”

  I nodded. “At least I get weekends off.”

  I threw her a wide smile and she beamed at me before adding, “Although, when you start school they’ll change it to three-thirty to five.”

  I nodded. “Sounds good. Thanks Mum.”

  She flashed me a small smile and then headed off into the kitchen to make some lunch.

  It looked like I would have something to distract me from my own dark thoughts for a while and for that I was glad. However, what I didn’t count on was that this ‘distraction’ would turn out to be something so much more than I could ever have imagined.

  Chapter Four

  Monday morning came rather quickly but I was relieved to have something to keep me busy. I decided to dress quite casual in my navy jeans, Converse sneakers and an old t-shirt. Once I had consumed some much-needed caffeine, I wished my mother good luck for her new job and then I headed out to the bus stop.

  I arrived into town just after 8.45am. I made my way to the leisure centre where I told the receptionist that I was due to start today. She handed me a white t-shirt and then directed me to the person in charge of the Youth Club – a Mr Deacon.

  Mr Deacon was a rather tall man with dark hair and a large moustache – my first thought was that he reminded me of Tom Selleck. He warmly welcomed me and then took a note of my details before taking me on a tour of the centre.

  He told me that there were three separate groups and that I was going to be in charge of the 8-9 year olds. I didn’t think that it was going to be too bad since he told me that the majority of them were girls. I was starting to warm up to the idea of looking after a few kids when Mr Deacon dropped a bombshell.

  “Oh, by the way, the first activity for them is swimming …” He trailed off at the look of horror on my face.

  I instantly found it very hard to breathe but I managed to choke out a somewhat coherent question. “Is – I – do – I – do I have to – to get in the – the pool too?”

  Mr Deacon gave me a concerned look. “Are you okay dear? You look rather pale. Do you need to sit down?”

  I shook my head, not trusting myself to speak again. Mr Deacon threw me another worried glance before he shook his head at me.

  “To answer your question – no, you just have to watch over them. They get lessons from Mr Fletcher from 10 – 11am. Is that okay with you?” He threw me another anxious look.

  I nodded my head, feeling much calmer. “That’s fine. Thanks Mr Deacon.”

  He frowned at me. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  “Positive.” I assured him, praying that he wouldn’t read too much into my minor panic attack.

  He nodded at me but I could still see that he was still concerned by my reaction earlier. Nevertheless, he walked me to the hall where twelve noisy kids were waiting for me.

  After introducing me, he wished me good luck and left me to it. I was then immediately bombarded with questions from two particularly excited-looking girls. I vaguely wondered what I had gotten myself into.

  I eventually managed to fend off the girls’ questions and glanced at my watch – 9.45am. I needed to be at the pool in fifteen minutes and had no idea how I was going to round up such a noisy group of children.

  It was then – in my moment of deep thought – that I remembered something that Mr Deacon had said and I felt faint all over again. I distinctly remembered him saying the words ‘Mr Fletcher’ while I was having my mini freak-out. That could only mean one thing … Danny.

  I tried not to dwell on the fact that I would soon be face to face with him again and instead focused on getting the kids to line up in a straight line. This proved to be a lot easier when a little dark-haired girl named Ellie decided to help me out. She told everyone to listen to me and stop talking.

  I was amazed when this seemed to work and I instantly enlisted Ellie as my new helper. I managed to get them all down to the pool changing rooms and waited while they changed into their suits. While I waited, I wondered how I should act when I saw Danny. I really didn’t want to talk to him at all but I was feeling guilty about how I was constantly rude to him.

  I still hadn’t made my mind up when we walked into the pool ten minutes later. The girls all ran up to Danny squealing excitedly while the three boys stood off to one side trying to look cool. I glanced over at Danny but he hadn’t seemed to notice me yet. I tried not to stare at him standing in just his swimming shorts – I would have been lying if I didn’t say that he looked good … really good. However, I managed to put my eyes back into my head when I realised that Ellie was now dragging him over to meet me.

  “Danny!” she shrilled excitedly, “This is Darcie, she’s our new Youth Group Leader … you’ll like her, she’s got pretty hair!”

  I had to laugh when I heard the last comment, I smiled down at Ellie and she beamed back as she wandered back to her friends – her mission was completed now that Danny was standing in front of me.

  “Cute kid,” he commented and I nodded my head. He gave me a small smile and I found myself tongue-tied.

  “First day?” he enquired, looking at me curiously.

  I nodded. “Yeah, my mother got me the job. Everyone’s been really nice and the kids seem okay. I just hope it stays that way.”

  He nodded but his hazel eyes seemed to study my features intently and I felt slightly uneasy. He seemed to notice my discomfort as he then broke eye contact and glanced over at the kids.

  He nodded his head towards them. “I suppose I better get back. It was nice seeing you again.”

  I gave him a small smile and then went to sit on a bench that was located near the entrance of the pool. I watched him teach the kids various strokes and I found myself fascinated by all the movements they were making. I had never learned to swim and – like I had told Danny – I didn’t intend to.

  However, after watching a bunch of nine year olds swim confidently up and down the length of the pool, I wondered if it was as easy as it looked.

  I glanced at my watch and realised that there was only ten minutes until the kids had to get out of the pool. I noticed Danny looking at the large clock on the wall and then turn back to the pool of boys and girls.

  “Okay!” I heard him shout. “Since you’ve only ten minutes left, I guess I could let you have some fun before you have to get out.”

  The kids all screamed in delight and proceeded to splash each other while Danny started to make his way towards me.

  “So,” he began, as he plopped down beside me. �
��I’m really sorry about being so forward in the café last week.”

  I shrugged. “It’s okay, really.”

  He smirked. “Good … but you should know that I really can’t promise that it won’t happen again.”

  I shook my head exasperatedly and laughed. “Cocky as ever, aren’t you?”

  I watched him laugh as he shrugged his shoulders and said, “You betcha! I gotta see if it’ll be third time lucky!”

  “Don’t hold your breath.” I told him, raising my eyebrows at him.

  Danny threw me that half-smile again. “Fair enough. But seriously, why won’t you go out with me? I really wanna know.”

  His hazel eyes looked puzzled as he watched me, waiting for a response.

  I sighed heavily. “I just don’t do relationships and that’s all you need to know.”

  He held his hands up in mock surrender. “Okay okay, I take the hint!”

  I breathed in relief and watched him look at me curiously – I could tell he was dying to ask me something else.

  “What?” I demanded.

  “I’m just trying to figure you out – that’s all.” He stared at me intently.

  “Well good luck with that.” I told him derisively.

  He sniggered. “Mock me all you want … but I will discover what it is you’re hiding.”

  “Whatever.” I told him dismissively.

  His lips pulled up into that lopsided grin. “You don’t believe me? Well I should tell you that I love a challenge.”

  I shrugged at him – knowing it would be a long time before he would ever discover anything about my past – if at all.

  I watched him as his nose crinkled up while he chuckled at me. “Challenge accepted Gilmore … challenged accepted.”

  And with that, he walked off to tell the kids to get out of the pool, leaving me feeling worried … very worried indeed.